Tears of pain and frustration

Another bad morning. I was tired, in pain and frustrated at the fact that I've been in pain for three straight months with no relief. My appointment with the surgeon got bumped a few days, which will delay the whole "healing" process even further. On top of that I keep gaining weight. I should be losing as much as possible in preparation for the eventual surgery but not being able to exercise is really cramping my style and the overall shape. All of that was too much this morning and I broke down for a few minutes. It actually made me feel better.

Real men do cry once in a while.

Bad morning

Woke up in more pain than usual. My right leg hurts from the hip all the way down to my foot. It feels like someone is trying to rip it away from my body. Walking is quite the task today. I am glad I get to see the neurosurgeon again on Friday.

Done with PT

After three sessions of PT and more pain than before, the therapist basically told me that there was nothing else she could do for me, which is basically what I thought. I am going back to the neurosurgeon next week and we will see what the next step is going to be.

Missing life

Things seem to be getting worse each day. Today my legs were trembling when walking up and down the stairs. This is definitely a new symptom. At this point I don't know if this is related to some sort of nerve damage or if it is a result of my leg muscles working overtime to help keep me up. My hips and knees ache too because I walk like a duck.

Today my daughter is playing basketball. Her team is in the hunt for a playoff spot. Unfortunately I was not able to go to the game. Instead I am sitting in my recliner trying not to move too much.

My life is starting to pass me by and that is making me very sad. I will give physical therapy one more week. After that I am calling the doctor and scheduling surgery. I cannot go on like this.

9 out of 10

I am in great pain today...again. I woke up and felt quite good but the minute I sat up in bed I could feel the pain creeping back up. Sure enough, by the time I got into the shower I was already hurting. The walk from the train to the office wasn't a picnic either. On the pain scale I would say that today is close to nine. I wish there was something I could do do.

PT, Day 2

I was in a lot of pain yesterday but couldn't do many of the exercises because I don't have a bed at work. ;-) So, I just dealt with it and took it like a man. This morning I woke up in even more pain. At this point Advil isn't helping anymore.

The physical therapist gave me a great lower back massage and an ultrasonic treatment. She again twisted me up to relieve the pain. Unfortunately I was in a lot more pain leaving than when I came in.
I am still not convinced that any of this will help me.

Physical Therapy

Why is it that every time I go to a different doctor I must fill out the same stupid forms asking the same list of stupid questions?

Name?
Height
Weight
Race?
Are you a male or a female?
Do you smoke?
Do you drink?
Are you suicidal?

Shouldn't all of that be on line some place. Geez!

Anyway...First day of PT went fine. I got a bit of a massage and I was instructed how to stretch the muscles in my lower back and legs to relieve the pain. I know it is way too early to say this but "why do they want me to stretch muscles when the diagnosis clearly states I have a herniated disk?" Huh?

I have serious doubts about the usefulness of PT in my situation. Still I've got to give it three weeks...no choice

In good hands

As I suspected the pain is back and with the vengeance. Today I had got the second opinion. The doctor I saw seems to know what he is talking about. He indeed saw a narrowing around L5/S1. In his opinion he should just be able to shave things down a bit. He did not think that fusion would be necessary. Just like the first doctor, he wants me to go through six weeks of physical therapy first. However, he said that I should know by the third week if things are improving. If they are not, then we will discuss surgery.